Eat the cookie when it’s fresh.
There comes a time when you just realize you don’t very much like a person anymore. And funny how that can happen, when you can recall a time when you were so fascinated and infatuated with that very same person, you just could not wait until you heard from them, until they sent you an e-mail, the very sight of their name in the “from” box made you feel a great anticipation (or worry).
Ah well, such is time, …after 5 years approximately of having my profile on various web dating sites this week I finally suspended the bulk of them, having temporarily “given up”…or rather gotten tired of the whole “run around”…the not really knowing if what that someone is saying is really true, or even if that someone is the someone you think they are. Although my policy was always to use those sites as introductory measures only, agreeing to meet the person with whom a mutual interest was struck as soon as possible, to forestall these very same concerns. And I did meet a good number of people, both through on-line and other services. So I made an effort to meet people. I just got mixed up with the wrong ones, got hung up on those who just didn’t “dig me” as much and I suppose there were those who “dug me” for whom I did not feel a mutual interest. So there it is. Now, at 40 I’ve come to realize I may just end up eternally single and childless and without a nuclear family beyond my first, however that’s ok. There’s lots I still want to do and there is still hope of love. I’ve not given up on that. I know I have the capacity to give and receive love.
Of late I’ve been thinking a lot about the loves lost, wondering if I could have done anything differently. …but no, I could not. Today (with benefit of hindsight) likely I would not have made the choice to be with those same people at all, passing them by altogether realizing they just weren’t right for me. They just didn’t treat me right. Here are the lessons I’ve had to learn, am still learning
To love myself
To not give to those who give nothing in return
To not chase after men who simply don’t deserve me to begin with
To value myself to a higher degree so that others will also
Ah well, such is time, …after 5 years approximately of having my profile on various web dating sites this week I finally suspended the bulk of them, having temporarily “given up”…or rather gotten tired of the whole “run around”…the not really knowing if what that someone is saying is really true, or even if that someone is the someone you think they are. Although my policy was always to use those sites as introductory measures only, agreeing to meet the person with whom a mutual interest was struck as soon as possible, to forestall these very same concerns. And I did meet a good number of people, both through on-line and other services. So I made an effort to meet people. I just got mixed up with the wrong ones, got hung up on those who just didn’t “dig me” as much and I suppose there were those who “dug me” for whom I did not feel a mutual interest. So there it is. Now, at 40 I’ve come to realize I may just end up eternally single and childless and without a nuclear family beyond my first, however that’s ok. There’s lots I still want to do and there is still hope of love. I’ve not given up on that. I know I have the capacity to give and receive love.
Of late I’ve been thinking a lot about the loves lost, wondering if I could have done anything differently. …but no, I could not. Today (with benefit of hindsight) likely I would not have made the choice to be with those same people at all, passing them by altogether realizing they just weren’t right for me. They just didn’t treat me right. Here are the lessons I’ve had to learn, am still learning
To love myself
To not give to those who give nothing in return
To not chase after men who simply don’t deserve me to begin with
To value myself to a higher degree so that others will also
posted by katya at 9:42 AM
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