I just want to ski!...write poetry...

and be in love!!...

ahh....if only...i could, i would....i should fall...yes,
ok, Aaron, you've inspired me...
you're writing...really writing...and i'm just being a lazy ass and posting stuff written by others....
the things which have inspired me...moved me....

today i felt the inexplicable urge to try one last time to contact someone i thought would be a friend...why why why? why do i set myself up for failure and disappointment continually? i ask myself? i know in part the answer, however i'll save you the psycho babble and share this amazing little trinket i just uncovered this moment, at the end of the day, after having read much other stuff, here's an explanation (in part)...let's hope something good actually comes to pass from my spontaneous act of compromised reason

Wednesday, March 1-V
If you're inexplicably motivated to get in touch with old flames, friends, work colleagues, teachers, relatives, etc., ascribe the urge to the connection between the Sun and unpredictable Uranus. Then consider actually following through: This is probably not a coincidence, and there may actually be some benefit, proposition, or showing the love lying in wait for you. Today's star rating: ****
from style.com

note, i'm sun sign Scorp., with AC Virgo...that's why i read Virgo and Scorpio both...as should you (i.e. read your AC and sun-sign...since most astrologers are making their forecasts based on the placement of the planets in the houses and this is predicated upon your AC - i.e. rising sign)

well, now i've thrown a bunch of astro-babble at you....

i must admit if it weren't for my obsession with my last collapsed romantic foray (which only lasted 3 dates and ended abruptly on New Year's Eve) i would never be posting any of this....now i wonder if in fact i've stumbled across a good outlet for some welling creative urges or if i'm just wasting time ....
there's lots else i could be doing for sure...
work for one!!
and as for some poetry...must work at that!
and finish my app. for grad school...
and pay bills....
and...well...there are always lots of "ands" aren't there?
i think the key is balancing our sense of play (even if it entails searching the web for mp3's or writing crazy letters to exes...or....whatever!)

btw i have some commentary on the whole mp3 "free" music download thing...and the whole array of sexual offerings available on the web....as i'm sure we all do...
it's just curious to me how we are constantly bombarded with "sales" pitches everywhere we go...i just hate that....
can't we be immune to some of that at least some of the time? i have a scattered enough focus as it is and i hate the fact that when i'm looking/seeking for one thing i end up distracted and onto something else...
which i guess brings me back to part of my original thought...in a way...it's very circular....are we better off being diverted from our so called "plans"...?

as John Lennon once sang
"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans".

..ha ha...so true!